Absence Without Reasoning
by Pippinfan1988
Summary: Angst for a little Merry; the beginning, if you will, of how he came to his occasional visits with his Uncle and cousins. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to JRR Tolkien. Thanks, JRRT.

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A/N: I realize some will think I've taken the following quote from LOTR a bit out of context. Probably...but maybe not. Who knows? A while ago when I wrote my first few fanfics, I wrote Merry with an estranged relationship with his father, so I wrote this story with the "beginning" in mind. On the good side, Merry and Saradoc do eventually find middle ground in later years, and I have yet to write something about that from a fly-on-the-wall point of view. 

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Warning: This story was a tad difficult for me to write because I peppered it with a bit of realism, _and so it may be difficult for some to read_ because it is a sad story. I am neither a psychologist nor a professional writer. I write because I'm addicted to it, and I like to write about my two favorite characters: Pippin and Merry. Unfortunately...this is pre-Pippin. Sorry Pip. If you have constructive criticism, or words of encouragement, please review.

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Absence of Reasoning

"But Merry stood at the foot of the green mound, and he wept, and when the song was ended he arose and cried, "Theoden King, Theoden King! Farewell! **_As a father you were to me, _for a little while**. Farewell!" - LOTR/ROTK, JRR Tolkien. (Italics mine)

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Chapter One - Secret Hurts

The teenager tiptoed inside the dark void of his secret place. This particular room was his favorite place to hide when he wanted to be alone to think things over in his head, or to just be "near" his parents. This room used to belong to his mother and father until their untimely death in a boating accident upon the Brandywine River when he was just twelve years old. His heart still ached for them.

It was quiet and unsettling as he crept around, except for the faint sound of a small child sniffling. "Merry?" He whispered. The sniffling stopped.

"Merry, you must come out!" He softly spoke. The sniffling started up again. "Everybody's worried about you, Merry. Your folks have all your aunts and uncles out looking for you."

The boy was clearly upset. "Not my Dad."

The teen had no reply for those words. "It's past midnight and your Mummy is very worried and scared, Merry." He turned in the direction of the child's voice.

"She is?"

"Of course she is. Very much so! And she wants you to come back home." He was now only a few feet away from his little cousin.

"But I've run away, Frodo!" The child started to sob again, "Dad and Mummy were shouting at each other...about me."

Frodo felt a feverish warmth emanating from the dark form in front of him. He took up the five-year-old into his arms and carried him out into the lit hallway, the small boy crying into his shoulder the whole time. "Shhh. That is for your Dad and Mummy to worry about."

The boy hid his face from the bright light and continued to sob. Frodo was gentle and soothing to his young cousin, but inwardly, his blood was boiling at his elder cousin's disgraceful behavior towards his only child. Frodo's own parents had drowned in an unfortunate accident, and that tore at his heart, so to witness a living parent denying his own child the love and attention necessary to thrive and feel secure was repulsive to him.

Frodo held Merry close as he carried him down the hallway and whispered in his ear, "Do you wish to sleep in my bed tonight?" He could feel the little head nodding. He could feel the dampness from Merry's hot tears.

Frodo continued, "But first, let's go and say goodnight to your Mummy, all right?"

Merry, weary from crying, asked, "Will Dad be there? Him and Mummy will start yelling again."

"I don't know, Merry, but I'll make sure no shouting goes on when you're there."

Minutes later the twosome stepped into the kitchen, Frodo still carrying Merry, and Merry sound asleep with his head resting on Frodo's shoulder. The cares of his crumbling little world had taken its toll on him. "Merry!" Esmeralda wept anew when she saw her little boy was safe and in the arms of his favorite cousin. She was waiting all alone.

"Where did you find him?" She dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief.

The teen was still a bit reluctant to give away his secret place. "Oh, in one of the vacant apartments in the upper level." He handed his cousin over to his frantic mother. She was careful not to wake her sleeping child. Frodo watched as Esmeralda closed her teary eyes, lovingly combing his damp curls away from his face with her fingers. 

Frodo hesitated to break the moment, but he wanted to keep his word with Merry. "I...I sort of told him he could sleep in my bed tonight--I hope you don't mind."

At first, Esmeralda was going to object, but then decided it would be more important for her son to feel safe after all he had been through this evening. "Have you asked Uncle Saradas?"

His eyes dropped to his feet, "No."

She knew the love her young cousin had for her son and relented, "Very well, Frodo, just this once without permission because I am pressed for decisions right now. If old Uncle Saradas fusses in the morning, then just bring little Merry directly to me, all right?" She balanced her son onto her hip, lightly hugging the older lad with her other. "Thank you, Frodo." 

Esmeralda kissed her little boy, "Merry!" She whispered, "Wake up, Merry!"

The mop of curls slowly stirred. "Hmm."

"Cousin Frodo is going to let you sleep in his bed tonight--how does that sound?"

"Hmm."

Esmeralda tenderly kissed his small cheek again. "I love you."

Eyes still closed, Merry mumbled, "...mmm...too." She gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Mummy will be waiting for you in the morning." She said as she handed the sleeping boy back over to his cousin. Then she told Frodo, "I'll tell the others he's been found."


	2. Hasty Plans

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Chapter Two - Hasty Plans

"Oh, Ferne," Esmeralda shook her head as she rolled out dough for making tarts, "we won't be needing all those loaves of bread. I'm sorry; there's been a change in family plans. I'm taking Merry to visit my brother near Tuckborough today."

Ferne sighed, looking at the six loaves of bread cooling on the board, "What shall I do with them, Mistress?"

Esmeralda shrugged, "Give them to Uncle Saradas, he's always needing bread these days with that growing teenager!"

Ferne smiled in agreement, "That I can do!"

"Good!" Answered Esmeralda. "Now...where are those jars of blackberry preserves that I set here?"

"Right where you left them, Mistress." Ferne reached behind the cruet from Esmeralda's view on the table and placed them before her.

Esmeralda stared at the jars. "I...I don't know what's gotten into me today, Ferne."

The elder cook put her hand on Esemralda's shoulder, but said nothing. She wasn't going to meddle in affairs that weren't hers, but the troubles between Esmeralda and Saradoc weren't exactly a secret. 

Just then the ladies could hear a couple of young voices coming towards the kitchen singing a song. 

Frodo swung open the door; he and Merry were singing a not-so-nice ditty. "Lots of cabbages for the lasses, let the air pass through--", and he froze when he saw the ladies--tongue and all. Undaunted, little Merry entered the kitchen from behind his cousin and casually finished it off.

"Meriadoc!" Esmeralda reprimanded her son, "I've asked you not to sing that limerick anymore! It is not fitting for _any _child to be singing those sort of..._words_." She eyed young Frodo.

Merry climbed onto his chair with the small stack of books bound together with string, "Yes, Mummy."

"Frodo, dear, please don't teach him anymore of those songs."

Frodo sat down blushing next to his young cousin. "Yes, Ma'am."

Ferne busied herself with setting breakfast before the lads and then retired to the pantry to plan elevenses.

Esmeralda poured herself a cup of hot tea and sat down next to her son. "Merry," She looked at him, "wouldn't you like to visit with Uncle Paladin?"

Merry only looked at her, chewing a mouthful of food.

"Don't you remember your Uncle Paladin?" He shook his head.

"Well, he's tall and has dark hair." Esmeralda motioned with her hands and touched her hair as she spoke.

Merry shook his head.

"He doesn't remember." Frodo said.

"I suppose that's to be expected," She sighed, "It's been a while since he's seen my brother."

Frodo drank the milk from his mug, then slowly set it down, "How long will he be away?"

Esmeralda didn't want to discuss a lengthy visit in front of her son, "Merry, sweetie, run into the larder, please, and tell Miss Ferne that we will be needing provisions for our visit to Uncle Paladin."

"Yes, Mummy." Merry was quick to jump down from the chair and do his mother's bidding; she was the one person in this world Merry felt loved by, besides his cousin Frodo of course.

Esmeralda watched as her son left the kitchen and disappeared into the next room. She leaned across the table to speak in hushed tones, "Merry has never been away from home, from us _ever _in his life, and I thought to leave him with my brother for a few days while I came back here and got his father straightened out." Frodo nodded. "I can't see him staying with Paladin for more than a week without me, so I don't see more than a week." 

"I understand." The teen answered. "I do want to see him happy."

Esmeralda put her hand on Frodo's and returned his smile, "I know, and I, too, of course; that is why I feel the need to do this."

Just then, Merry came back in from the larder. "Miss Ferne says 'yes, Misstress', and that she will see to it." Merry scooted back onto his chair, kneeling atop the books used to boost him to the table as he emptied his mug of milk. "Can I go outside, Mummy?"

"Why don't you and Frodo go for a nice walk around the gardens?"

"The gardens? I want to go exploring!" Merry wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"I have an idea!" Frodo said, "Why don't we go down by the river, and while we dip our feet in the cool water, I can read one of Cousin Bilbo's letters about his adventures!"

"Yes!" Merry smiled with delight. "Read to me the one about the trolls!"

Frodo caught Esmeralda's eye as he got up to leave. She mouthed the words, "Thank you."


	3. Waiting in the Dark

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Chapter Three - Waiting In the Dark

"No! I don't want to go, Mummy!" Merry clung to Frodo, "I don't want to visit Uncle Paldin!"

Esmeralda had her hands wrapped around her son's waist, gently tugging on him, "Son, we must leave now before we miss the coach!"

"Wait!" Frodo cried out to his older cousin, "May I please talk to him for just a minute?" He touched the shoulder of the boy who had a death grip around his leg, then speaking to him, "Then I promise I will walk with you down to the ferry, all right?"

Esmeralda looked at the small time piece in her hand, "Very well, Frodo, but we don't have much time." She turned to walk slowly down towards the ferry where the coach waited, followed by a servant carrying their baggage.

They were out of hearing range when Frodo crouched down to eye level with his little friend. "Why don't you want to visit your uncle?"

"I do want to visit my uncle." Replied Merry.

"Then why are you making such a fuss?"

"Because I will miss you, and you'll forget about me."

Frodo was pleasingly shocked, "Forget about you? Merry, how can I forget about you?" He watched as the boy looked at the ground and shrugged. Frodo lifted the boy's chin and held his shoulders, "I could never forget about you, Merry! _Never_." This made his Merry smile. Then Frodo returned the smile to the lad who reminded him so much of himself--lost and forgotten. "And know that I will always love you--_always_."

Merry hugged his most favorite cousin in the world, "I love you, Frodo."

Then Frodo took Merry's hand, "Come on, then! Now that we've declared we will never forget each other, let's catch up to your Mum!"

The setting sun filled the inside of the coach with a golden light. Despite the jostling inside the carriage, Esmeralda rested against the side as her eyelids grew heavy. The rhythm of the ponies' shoes were lulling her into far away dreams. Merry already lay asleep sprawled out on the rest of the bench with his head on her lap. She combed through his thick brown curls with her fingertips as he lay there so still. _Such a sweet little boy, _she thought. _His father won't even miss him._

"_Tuckborough_!!" Came a shout from the outside of the coach. Esmeralda awoke with a start. The sun was gone and the moon was high in the sky. She wiped her eyes and nudged Merry, still sleeping with his head on her lap.

"Is it Uncle Paldin?

"No, sweetie." She yawned, "But....we're in Tuckborough now."

Mother and son got up and stepped off the carriage into the deep of night. Esmeralda gazed about; she didn't remember Tuckborough being so dark! As the coachman fetched their bags, Esmeralda helped Merry put on his summer jacket, as there was a bit of a chill in the late summer air. The driver dropped the bags at her feet as she was still buttoning up her son. "Are ye travelin' far on foot, Miss?"

"No, sir." Esmeralda answered, "My brother is supposed to pick us up here. Thank you."

The coachman took in the dark and empty town market. Not a soul stirring about. The only folks around that he could see were the patrons at the local Oak Leaf Inn. "I'd be careful, if I was ye, Miss. Not o'lot of good comes from that Inn this late at night. I'd stay with ye, Miss, but I've other passengers goin' on to Great Smials."

Esmeralda gazed uneasily towards the tavern, but smiled gratefully at the coachman's kindness, "Thank you again, but we'll be all right." _Paladin had better get here soon!_

She picked up the lighter bag and tucked it under her arm, then grasped the other bag and held it in the same hand. With her free hand she grabbed Merry's and walked towards the lighted porch of the Inn. Sitting in the light of a porch, tavern or not, would be better than standing in the darkness and not being seen by her brother. When they reached the porch, she dropped the bags, opened one up and pulled out two cloaks--her own and Merry's. She placed the small one around the drowsy boy and instructed him to lie against the bags. He fell back to sleep at once.

About fifteen minutes had passed when Esmeralda heard a raucous of laughter, then two slightly drunken patrons exited the tavern. "Aye, Ferdie! It is a sad day indeed when your friends tell you you've had too much beer for a game of darts!"

"It was your own fault, Addie!" Ferdie reasoned, clinging to the wooden post on the porch, "If you had actually _aimed _for Sigi's backside, you couldn't have asked for a better bull's-eye!"

Addie shook his head at the memory, "I couldn't help it, Ferdie. It was too large." He waved his hand towards the tavern doors, "Eh! I would've hit him anyway if I'd aimed for the East Farthing!" Apparently, Addie's aim had much to be desired after a few pints; Cousin Sigismond's backside vouched for that.

Ferdie's attention was abruptly given to the woman sitting on the edge of the porch. "Such a lovely lass! What brings you to the Oak Leaf at this hour?" His staggered in Esmeralda's direction, drunken eyes were fixed on the beautiful lady before him. 

Her eyes flitted from one to the other as Ferdie drew closer. He got so close she could smell the beer on his breath, startling her. As he got even closer, Esmeralda stood up and backed away towards the porch railing, but not before setting her fist to his nose. "Ahhh! You broke my nose!" He cupped his face as blood spurted from his nostrils.

Addie came over laughing, "I hardly think she broke your nose, you ninny! Don't you recognize your own kin?"

"I can't! My nose is broken!"

Addie's sadistic side was surfacing. "No it's not! Here, let me wiggle it!"

"OUCH!" Ferdie yanked away his cousin's hands from his face. 

"It's not broken, but it serves you right for trying to frighten her." Addie looked at Esmeralda, "I know you; you're Paladin's little sister, aren't you?"

Then Esmeralda recognized her brother's best friend and cousin. "Addie!" They embraced. "It's so good to see you!"

Addie loosed her, "You've been away for a long time! Don't they let you visit your kin in the West Farthing--that overgrown anthill they call Brandy Hall?"

"They do indeed!" She laughed in turn, then her smile disappeared, "But it's been hard to get away these past few years."

Addie put his hand on her shoulder, "So I've heard. I'm sorry about Saramac." He trailed off.

"Thank you," Then she smiled sadly, "but that was six years ago. He will always live here," she placed her hand over her heart.

"Are you waiting for Paladin?" Esmeralda nodded. Then he noticed the small bundle lying against the baggage in the corner. He went over to investigate it, and smiled broadly when he saw the sleeping boy. "Is this the new little prince of Buckland?" He whispered.

"Stop, Addie!" She smiled. "His name is Merry, and I have never let anyone refer to him in any special way, with _any _title. I don't want him to grow up with a swelled head!"

Addie looked at her, "I know you, Essie, and that would never happen with you as his mother." Then he sat down on the edge of the porch, "We may as well sit and talk for a while because I won't leave you here alone in the dark with all the riff-raff inside!" He nodded towards the tavern. So all three hobbits sat down for a nice chat waiting for Paladin, but Ferdie only held his nose. They didn't have to wait too long. Not ten minutes later a cart led by a pony arrived with haste into the Market Square. It slowed as the ponies circled around the market place and then came towards the Inn. 

"Hoy there, Essie!" Yelled the familiar voice. Paladin jumped down from the cart and ran over to the porch and took his little sister up in his arms. He gave her a fierce hug before setting her down again. "I'm sorry I'm late! Looks like you've had good company, though." He gave his friend's shoulder a slap. "Thanks, Addie." He saw the boy stirring awake in the corner. "Goodness, Essie! He's growing up so fast!" Then he put his arm around his sister, "Let's get you both home! Do you and Ferdie need a ride?" He asked his cousins.

"No, no, Paladin! We both brought a pony, and I believe the Smials are a bit out of the way in the other direction. We'll be fine; get your sister and nephew home to bed."

"I'm sorry about your nose, Ferdinand!" Esmeralda called out. Ferdie only replied with a wave of his hand.

"Don't be! He deserved it, I tell you!" Addie's cackling laughter could be heard from the livery stables.

Paladin picked up her bags and then looked at his younger sister in amazement, "You did that to him?" She sheepishly nodded. He chuckled as he threw the bags in the back of the cart, "You haven't changed a bit!"


	4. Getting To Know You

Oops...forgot about chapter four.....as I said (say?) in ch. 5, after much deliberation, I've decided to post the rest, but not all at once...don't want to overwhelm anyone.

Chapter Four - Getting to Know You

"Wake up, Merry!" 

Merry rolled over, barely opening his eyes. "Hmm."

Esmeralda rubbed his back, "Wake up, love! Breakfast is waiting."

Merry opened his eyes. He did a lot of traveling yesterday; nibbling on cold breads, meats and cheeses provided by Miss Ferne all the way to Tuckborough. He deeply inhaled the aroma of sausages and eggs cooking as he stretched out his muscles. 

"Come now, sweetie, sit up for me." Merry sat up, still groggy. Esmeralda lifted the nightshirt off her son and dressed him in fresh clothes. Pouring water into the basin, she dampened a washcloth and wiped his face and hands then combed his tangled curls.

Merry started to wake up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Mummy?"  
  
"Hmm?" She handed him a little wooden stick with small, stiff bristles, "Here, clean your teeth."

"Is Dad coming to visit Uncle Paldin, too?"

"No, love, he's staying at home." She handed him a glass of water and held the basin in front of him, "Rinse."

A knock was heard on the door, then it opened, "Good morning, Essie!" Then seeing the small boy, "Oh, and there's the baby!"

Esmeralda smiled as she hugged her sister-in-law, "Hullo, Tina! Well, he's not quite a baby anymore!"

"I know my letters!" Merry chimed in, as if knowing his letters were all the proof in the world that he needed to show he was not a baby anymore.

"Say hullo to your Aunt Eglantine, Merry." 

Merry had trouble repeating his aunt's name. "Good morning, Aunt...Aunt...Auntie!" He answered.

Eglantine laughed, lifted the child into her arms, "Aunt Tina will do! You are such a clever laddie! The last time I saw you, you were Pervinca's age!" Then at his puzzled look, "You've never seen your newest cousin, have you? You've grown so much, Merry! I'll wager you can read and write already, too!"

"Yes, I can!" He replied triumphantly.

"_Little _words." Esmeralda smiled.

"And I know lots of songs! Frodo learned me lots of them!" Merry started one.  


"No!" Esmeralda covered his mouth as he started a naughty limerick. "Not now, sweetie!" Her face reddened a bit as one particular word escaped his lips.

Eglantine smirked, "From Frodo, eh? What a marvelous influence the lad is." She said dryly, putting her nephew down and taking his small hand in her own. Then she smiled at him, "Let's go to breakfast, shall we?" 

Merry put another bite of sausage into his mouth. He kept a guarded eye on the big hobbit at the head of the table. He was a little taller than his own dad with darker hair just as his mother described him back at Brandy Hall. What she didn't tell him was that his uncle was quick to smile, laugh, and tousle the nearest child's head. He caught Merry looking at him and winked. Merry didn't know what to make of all this, so he looked away.

"Pimpernel," Paladin spoke up, "why don't you take Merry outside to play when you're both finished eating?"

"What about my chores?" Pimpernel was an odd child; she actually liked her chores--with the exception of shoveling after the animals. At the tender age of eight, she loved every aspect of living on a farm--from helping her father out in the fields, to feeding and caring for the various farm animals. But mostly she liked riding the ponies or swinging from the long rope that was tied to the highest beam in the barn, then dropping several yards down to the soft bales of hay.

Paladin shrugged his broad shoulders, "You can take him around with you most anywhere, but he's still too young to be carrying the heavy water buckets and such. Why don't you show him the baby chicks?"

Pimpernel turned to her cousin, "Have you ever seenchickens before?" Merry shook his head. "Ever seen a pig?" He shook his head again. Pimpernel was genuinely surprised; she thought everyone lived on a farm. "Don't you have any animals?" Merry only looked at her.

Esmeralda smiled at her niece's questions, "We have a few animals kept nearby, Pimpernel, but he's never been to see any of them."

"Oh." She thought for a moment. "Can I show him all of ours? Then I know of some fun things we can do after."

Esmeralda was trying to get her shy little Merry to warm up to his cousins...and especially his uncle. "That sounds like fun, doesn't it Merry?" 

Merry shook his head. "Merry Brandybuck!" Esmeralda took her son by the hand and led him just outside the kitchen. She kneeled down to his level and whispered, "Now you're not being very nice to your cousin! She is trying to be friendly with you. You will go outside with her, and you will spend the day with her; you cannot spend your days inside the smial. Then she smiled, "You'll be all right with Pimpernel. She seems to like you, Merry."

"Yes, Ma'am." Merry hated being scolded by his mother.

She held his chin in her hand, "You'll have all sorts of fun today!"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Esmeralda disliked pushing Merry into doing something he clearly didn't want to do, but all she had to do was remind herself of all the little obnoxious ditties Frodo had taught him.

Both returned to the table and Merry finished off his milk, looking at his cousin. "I'm done now."

Pimpernel drank the rest of her milk. "Let's go then."

The morning sun was bright in Merry's eyes as he followed his cousin around the barn to the bin of chicken feed. She used a small pail to scoop some up and then led the way out to the coop.

Merry held his nose as they drew near it. "It smells!"

"You'll get used to it!" She said, then threw a fistful of feed before the gathering crowd of rooster and hens. "Try it." She held out the pail for her younger cousin to take from.

Merry grabbed a fistful to throw, but failed to throw it far enough and was nearly ran over by a bunch of squawking chickens and feeling a few pecks as he tried to fend them off.

"Ouch! Get them off me!" He yelled, running off and patting down his shoulders and arms.

"Let me see you." Pimpernel examined Merry's face and shirt and then laughed. Not a scratch. "Oh, you'll live!" She took the pail, scattering the rest of the contents and then said, "Follow me."

Merry followed his cousin to the backside of the barn where Pimpernel told him to wait. A few minutes passed before she returned with a large wheelbarrow. "Jump in!" She shouted, but she could barely control the large barrow herself. Merry was game, so he hopped inside, but his momentum landed him and the wheelbarrow on the other side.

Pimpernel picked it up, "Wait! Let's try it again!"

"No," Merry said, "I don't think I want to play with the wheelbarrow anymore." He stood up rubbing his bottom.

"All right." She decided to take it easy on the boy for a while. "Let's finish my chores and then we'll go see the baby chicks." They toddled off back inside the barn to finish feeding the animals.


	5. A Mother's View

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Thanks to everyone who reviewed, or requested an email....after a bit of thought I decided to post the rest...but I'll do it a little at a time; don't want to overwhelm anyone.....

Another note: I did a boo-boo...let's just say I "updated" the old chapter four.

Chapter Five - Life's Choices

Paladin stood behind his sister; both watching the children going off towards the barn. "He'll be fine, Essie. Pimpernel is a good lass and won't allow any harm to come to him."

She turned to face her brother and sighed, "I know I must seem over protective of him. It's just that...I...." Her eyes welled up. "Sometimes...I think I'm all he has." 

Paladin embraced his sister, not entirely oblivious of his sister's fears. "Saradoc has not recovered and come out of his study?" She shook her head.

"I've talked to him, Paladin, I've tried to reason with him....and recently--the other night, we were shouting and arguing at one another. We've never shouted at each other before." She sniffed, "And Merry was right there in the room when it all came out."

Paladin looked over to his wife. "Tina!" He called, "Come with us to my study; I think another woman might help."

Eglantine got up and handed their two year old over to Pearl. "Take Pervinca outside for a while, please." Pearl took her little sister by the hand and led her outside.

In the study, Eglantine sat next to Esmeralda, comforting her as she poured out her heart to her brother. "I've never heard him utter such vile words before, Paladin. And Merry heard them all!"

"What did Merry do? Has anyone asked him how he feels?"

"No, but he acts as if he never heard them! He still adores his father!" Esmeralda fidgeted with the handkerchief in her hands, "He ran off and hid somewhere in the upper levels for several hours. It was Frodo who found him and brought him back." She paused briefly, then continued, "Paladin, I...I want to return to Brandy Hall and..."

Paladin watched his sister, "And do what, Essie?"

"I want to go back and confront him. If Sara doesn't listen, then I will give him a choice."

"What kind of choice would that be? Merry is his son as well. You cannot simply keep Merry here without reason. Sara won't have it, and neither will Rory." Paladin said.

Esmeralda looked at her brother, "Sara has already made his feelings about Merry quite clear. Why would he care?"

Paladin spoke from an obstinate father's point of view, "Merry is a Brandybuck; out of sheer pride Sara won't allow his son to live anywhere but Brandy Hall." Then he softened, "Whatever he said the other night, Essie, I'm sure he's ruing those words already. Do you think it was drink talking through him?"

Esmeralda face fell; she remembered seeing an open bottle on Saradoc's desk. "Perhaps."

Paladin pulled his chair closer to his sister. "Essie, Sara is not himself. I've never known him to drink other than at a celebration. Does Rory or Gilda know about any of this?" 

Esmeralda sighed, "No."

Paladin sat back in his chair, "They need to know." He exhaled a deep breath he took. "Have you talked to Merry at all?"

She shook her head, "No. As I said, even though he heard everything his father said, he still loves him, so I don't believe Merry really understood it all. The shouting seemed to frighten him more than anything."

Paladin shook his head. "No, Essie, I think he understands more than you know, or can even guess. You said yourself he ran away and hid in another part of the Hall for quite a while. If someone doesn't talk to him soon, his feelings may surface in ways that you will not like. Being five years old, he may not know _how _to speak his feelings, but if someone he loves were to help him talk it out, he would speak volumes."

Esmeralda looked at her brother. "Would you speak to him?"

"I would love to, Essie," Said Paladin, "but the boy doesn't know or even trust me yet."

"He will in due time. I mean, if you," She looked at her sister-in-law, "and Tina would allow him to stay for a short period, he will come to know you."

Paladin was incredulous. "Essie, you and Merry are welcome to stay as long as you desire, but Merry--_alone_? He's just a little boy who still needs his mother! You can't just leave him here alone and go off back to Brandy Hall." He paced back and forth trying to think of another way, but he came to the same conclusion as his sister; Merry ought not to return home to that destructive setting if it could be helped at all. _Which would be the lesser of the two "evils"?_, he thought to himself. "You must stay here with him for a few days at least, and then we'll talk to him together. If he seems fine with it, then he can stay. If he gives any indication that he will not stay without you, then you must not put him through that horror."

"He's already been through horrors, Paladin. Mine and Sara's argument being one of them. Which would be the more, Paladin? Going back to a father who treats his pony better than he treats his own son? Or the awfulness of staying on with kin that I know will love him and shower him with kindness and affection?"

Paladin couldn't deny that. He loved his own children more than life itself, and his nieces and nephews weren't far behind. "Very well." He sighed, "I only hope we're doing the best thing for Merry."

Esmeralda got up and hugged him. "We are! Thank you, Paladin!"


	6. Life's Choices

****

Chapter Six - A Mother's View

A couple days later, Esmeralda was watching Merry writing his numbers and letters in their room. Despite being away from his Tutor, Esmeralda ensured Merry kept up with his lessons.

Esmeralda called to her son from the bed, "Merry, sweetie, come sit next to Mummy." She patted the space next to her.

Merry obeyed, leaving his paper and ink-pen on the desk. She began, "Uncle Paladin wants to talk to us--will you come to the study with me?"

Merry was still apprehensive about the big, dark hobbit with the broad shoulders and quick smile. He shook his head.

"Merry, dearest," Esemeralda rifled quickly through her mind as to how she could ingratiate Paladin to her young son. "Do you remember what brothers and sisters are?" 

Merry thought for a second, "Merimas has two sisters. I don't have any sisters." 

"Very good, but let's pretend that Uncle Paladin is your Dad." Merry's eyes went wide. "Just for the sake of the story!" She smiled, reassuring him. "Uncle Paladin is your Dad and Aunt Tina is your Mummy. That would make Pearl, Pimpernel, and Pervinca your sisters, and you would be their brother. Do you understand that?" He nodded. She continued, "Well Uncle Paladin and I shared the same Mummy and Dad. What does that make us?"  


Merry thought about it, "That makes you Uncle Paldin's sister?"

"Yes!" Esmeralda said. "I am his sister, and he's my brother. When we were little children, much the same age as you and Pimpernel, we used to play games and run all over our Dad's farm. Then we grew up; he became Pearl, Pimpernel, and Pervinca's Dad, and I became your Mummy. We are still very close." Then she hugged Merry close, "Uncle Paladin would never hurt you, Merry. He loves you very much." She watched Merry's big blue eyes become far away and distant.

"Like my Dad?"

Merry's question caught Esmeralda off guard. "No, Merry. Not like your own Dad. Uncle Paladin loves you much the same way as I do, except that he doesn't think you like him yet." 

Merry fingered at the designs in the bedspread. "He's so big, Mummy."

"I know he seems so big because you're so little, dear. But one day you'll be just as big as Uncle Paladin." She smoothed his longish curls behind his ears. "Will you come to the study with me?"

Merry sighed. "I will." He slipped down from the bed and took his mother's hand. The whole conversation she and her son just had made Esmeralda shudder. _He does understand more than I thought._

Together, hand-in-hand, mother and son walked into Paladin's study. Paladin stood up from the couch he was sitting on, smiling as usual. He had been whittling an object in his hand, and wood shavings were all over the floor between his feet. "Good afternoon, Essie!" Then he held out his hand to the little child, "And good afternoon to you, too, Merry!" Merry hesitated, but cautiously took his uncle's hand and shook it, gazing at the mess at his uncle's feet.

"Would you care for some tea, Essie? We also have milk for growing young lads!"

"I'll have some tea, and Merry here will have milk."

"Good." Paladin handed his sister a cup of hot tea and then from a small pitcher, he poured a mug half full of milk.

Merry took the mug his uncle gave him, "Thank you."

Paladin put down the object he was carving so as to give his undivided attention to his nephew. "Merry," He started, "I would like to ask you a few questions. May I do that?"

Merry looked at his mother, then back at his uncle. "What kind of questions?"  


"Well, for beginners, your mother tells me that you were quite upset the other night--to the point of running away. Will you tell me more about that?"

Merry quit sipping his milk and stared at the mug in his lap. "No, sir."

"I would like to help you, Merry. Will you let me?"

Silence.

Paladin sighed deeply and tried another angle. "Merry, do you like stories?" 

The boy looked up and nodded. "I got stories, too!" He said, now warming up a tad. "Like, like....like the story about (his eyes spied one of the baby's toys in the corner; a stuffed pony) the pony who....who was sad."

Paladin eyed Esmeralda. "Why was the pony sad?"

"Because....he ran away."

"That is very sad, indeed. Why did he run away?"

"Because he...." Merry fidgeted in his seat, "he heard his dad shouting at his mummy, and....so he ran away."

Paladin got up and sat down next to Merry, putting his arm around him, "The poor pony! Can you tell me what the Dad pony was shouting?"

Merry shook his head, putting his hands over his ears as if he were hearing it all over again. "Stop!" He was clearly becoming upset. "I don't want to tell this story anymore!"

Paladin took the child onto his lap, "You don't have to finish the story, Merry, but may I finish it? I promise it won't end sadly."

Merry buried his face into his uncle's shoulder and nodded. So Paladin finished Merry's impromptu story. "So...the Mummy Pony worried over the Little Pony...because the Little Pony was so sad. And...well, the Mummy Pony took the Little Pony to visit his _Uncle_...Pony," Paladin grimaced at his sister, who nodded for him to continue. "And everybody loved the Little Pony: the Uncle and Auntie Ponies loved him dearly, as did his cousin ponies. The Mummy Pony had to go back home to talk to the Dad Pony." 

Merry looked up, "Why?"

"Because the Mummy didn't want anymore shouting going on around the LIttle Pony."

"Did the Dad Pony stop shouting then?"

"Well, I think so." He looked at Merry, "Do you want the Dad to stop shouting?" Merry nodded. "Very well, then! From that moment on, the Dad Pony never shouted at the Mummy." Paladin hesitated a moment, then asked Merry, "What else do you want the Dad to stop doing?"

Merry shrugged. "Saying mean things."

Paladin gave a quick look to his sister, "And he stopped saying mean things to the LIttle Pony, because if he did, the Uncle Pony would..." Then Paladin stopped himself. "Then the Uncle and Auntie Ponies would invite the Little Pony to visit them...a lot. And everyday the Uncle Pony and the Little Pony would do something together; even if it was only walking up the lane to the road and back down again, because lad ponies like to do things together, isn't that right?" Paladin bounced Merry in his arms and smiled. 

Merry looked back, then asked. "Is that the end of the story?"

"Well, that end for now." Paladin held Merry and kissed him. "I'm going to leave you with your Mummy for while. She wants to ask you something." He sat the boy down on the couch next to his mother and left the room.

Esmeralda waited until her brother left the room. "Merry, sweetie, I, um....I need to go back home to Brandy Hall and settle things with your dad."

The child threw her a look. He got a bad feeling he wasn't in her plans. "I'm going home, too!"

"Would you do something for Mummy, Merry? Would you be a brave, big lad and stay here with your Auntie and cousins?"

Merry's heart sank to his feet. "No!" He said, shaking his head, "No, Mummy! I'm coming home with you! Just like the Little Pony!"

Esmeralda held his face in her hand, "I need for you to stay here for a bit--not long at all!" Merry took his face out her hands; his eyes grew distant once more. "I promise, Merry! I promise I won't leave you here longer than necessary!"

Merry had turned his back towards his mother, facing the opposite direction. He remembered Frodo telling him about promises; that they are grievous words to speak. "Never utter a promise you don't intend to keep" he told Merry. He turned back towards his mother, "Promise?"

"Yes, love! I promise with all my heart!" She took him in her arms, hugging him tight and showering him with kisses. But he didn't giggle like he used to when she did this. 

He looked up at his mother, "How long is a few days?"

"Let's make a calendar!", Esmeralda said. Merry gave an odd look to his mother. "Yes! Come!" She took her son by the hand and led him over to her brother's desk. She sat down in the large leather chair and pulled Merry up into her lap. She opened a couple drawers until she found blank paper and one small piece of a leadstick. "Make five squares." She watched as Merry drew five of the best squares he could. When he got to the last day, "5", she told him, "darken that square, Merry. Write your name in it, and make it look special." Merry thickened the lines around the last block, shading it in as only a small child can do, and then wrote his name as small as he could to fit it inside the block.

"Done." He said, laying the leadstick on the desk.

"That's a lovely square, Merry! Do you know why that day is so special?"

"No." He shook his head. 

She answered, "That's the day you will wake up and come home to Brandy Hall. I promise."

Merry was now resigned to the fact that he had no say in the matter; his mother was leaving him behind.

Esmeralda watched her son withdraw into himself, but her heart told her that she must go back to put the proverbial fire under her husband, otherwise, he would never be a proper father to Merry. She silently wiped the tears from her eyes. "I must go now, love." She got up and set him down in her place in the large chair. Merry sat limply against the tall back, not even looking in her direction. She kneeled down, stroking his curls, "I love you." She saw a tear run down his cheek, his bottom lip quivering. She got up and ran out of the room, sniffling as she left.


	7. The Busiess of Family

****

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this story. Pearl Took: About lads and naughty little ditties; I couldn't agree more! Oh, and about the hair-thing; I based this on a real situation. My mother left me (6 yrs) and my sister (8 yrs) alone with our father to go to some ladies' type function....we wanted to play Barber and I couldn't see the need to pretend; after all the barber shears weren't plugged in.... Yes, I was an odd one.

Chapter Seven - The Business of Family

Paladin's head was full of swirling thoughts as he pulled up the lane. He'd just returned from taking Esmeralda to town to send her off on the coach back to Buckland. He sat for a moment in reflection before unhitching the cart and shuffled into the smial he'd come to love. He thought about all the times of love from family and friends that filled up the inside of his little smial. His heart went out to his little nephew. He knew then what he would do.

After putting up the cart and pony, he stepped inside and found his young daughters busy at play, or doing chores. "Where's your mother?"

Pearl was stirring a pot boiling with something that smelled very good. She turned around to her father, "She's in Pervinca's room with Merry." Paladin did a double take as he glanced at Pimpernel tying yet another ribbon in her younger sister's hair. He looked at the head full of tiny ponytails, "Pimpernel, that's enough ribbons, don't you think?"

"She likes lots of ribbons! Right Pervinca?" The older girl laid down the hairbrush and grasped the scissors to snip another length of ribbon from the spool. Pervinca said nothing; she was occupied with grasping as many of the loose ribbons in her chubby little hand as she could.

He could sense something was waiting to happen. "Pearl, watch your sisters while I find your mother." 

Paladin quickly made his way to the nursery to find his wife rocking a small boy in her arms. The child was softly keening as she held him close to her bosom. He sadly shook his head as he brought the other chair near to them and sat in it. "How is he?"

"About as well as can be expected for a small laddie who's had a very bad day." Eglantine paused from smoothing his hair with her fingers and shrugged, "He's almost asleep."

Just then Pimpernel came into the room leading her baby sister by the hand. "Look at Pervinca! Isn't she beautiful? I did it all myself!"

Eglantine and Paladin stared in horror as Pimpernel turned Pervinca about, showing all of her tiny ponytails. Some tails were cut almost to the ribbon while some were still long. Her hair in the front reminded Paladin of stair steps. 

Paladin sank in his chair, "I told Pearl to watch them!"

Eglantine looked at him, "Pearl is only twelve, and she's starting supper for me! She's still a bit young to be cooking supper and watching two young children at the same time. Let's face it, love", she put her hand on his, "we brought this one on ourselves." She took the boy in her arms and put him in her husband's lap and got up. Taking the hands of both girls, she paraded them back out towards the kitchen, "Come now, ladies, we have cleaning up to do in the kitchen!" 

Merry stirred in his uncle's lap as the others left and wiped his eyes. "Where's Mummy?"

Paladin sighed. "Your Mummy is safely on her way to Buckland." He squeezed him in a soft hug, "She'll be returning in five days." Paladin watched the child wipe his nose with his sleeve and looked as if he would burst into tears again.

"Merry, I have a gift for you--would you like to see it?" The boy nodded his head. "Then come with me!" Merry took Paladin's hand and followed him back to the study. Merry saw the wood shavings were still on the floor as they were earlier. Now, instead of a chunk of wood, a round-ish object lay on the tea table. It was thick at the top with a groove going round it where a string would be wound through, and then becoming slender to a point at the bottom.

"A spinning top!" Merry exclaimed. "Berilac has a spinning top, but he won't let me play with it. He lets Merimas play with it, but he says I'm too little."

"Well, this is your very own spinning top." Paladin handed the toy to Merry. "I just finished it today as I waited with your Mummy for the coach. Tomorrow we can paint it."

Merry was examining every inch of his new toy. "Can I paint it yellow? Yellow is my favorite color."

"You may paint it whatever color you want, Merry; it's yours!" 

From this moment on, Merry no longer saw his uncle as big and somewhat scary; he looked up at the gracious hobbit that he would come to love more than his own father. "Thank you, Uncle Paldin."

Much later, after the children were all put to bed, Paladin and Eglantine lay next to each other in their own bed; the only place the two got any privacy together. As they often did, they talked about events of the day, or plans for the next--sometimes about their future. Eglantine snuggled up to him, "What are you going to do about the fields? Do you plan on staying at home all week?"

Paladin wrapped his arm around her, "Oh, I thought to let my newly hired assistant step up and do most of the counting and selling. He's ready for it--he should be; I taught him everything he knows!"

"That Woodcot fellow?"

"Hmm." Paladin muzzled her neck.

"Paladin!" She smiled, "Let's talk family business first!"

"This isn't family business?"

Eglantine chuckled, "You know what I mean!"

Paladin leaned back with his elbow atop his pillow. "Talk to me, dearest."

"I've been worried about Merry. What will happen if Sara doesn't change?" 

Paladin became serious now. "I worry about that, too. It's rather disturbing to know that Merry has a father who... I don't know, Tina. I couldn't imagine not being close to my own father as I grew up, and if I ever did have a son, I would like to believe I would never treat him as Sara has treated his own."

Eglantine agreed, "He's such a sweet little lad. Its too bad Frodo got hold of him and taught him all those distasteful limericks. We should keep a close eye out for him." 

"As always." Said Paladin.

"You know Paladin," Eglantine began, "If we were ever to have another child, lad or lass, you'd carry on being even a better father." 

Paladin looked his bride in her lovely hazel eyes, "That is the second best compliment anyone has ever told me."

"What was the first?"

"That I had married the most beautiful and wonderful lass in the Shire." Then he kissed her.


	8. Tending the Downtrodden

****

Chapter Eight - Tending the Downtrodden

It was after midnight; all was quiet throughout the Smial. Everyone was sleeping comfortably in their warm feather beds. Then out of nowhere, a child's scream pierced the serenity of a few other inhabitants.

Eglantine was the first one to her feet. Pulling on her night-coat she took a lit candle and quickly padded out to the hallway and headed straight for Merry's room, followed by a groggy husband.

Merry was sitting up in his bed; his face a deep scarlet from screaming and crying so fiercely. Eglantine sat down next to him to try and soothe him back to sleep, but the boy fell back onto his pillows and cried all the more.

Paladin watched the entire scene, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's had a bad dream and he's upset." Said Eglantine.

Paladin sighed, "I can see that!"

Eglantine picked up her nephew and sat him in her lap and held the crying child. "He's crying for his Mum."

"Mummy," Merry sobbed. "Where's my Mummy?"

"Shhh!" Eglantine rocked him where she sat on the bed. "You're safe with auntie, Merry." But that didn't console him in the least. She noticed Pearl and Pimpernel standing in the doorway. "Go on back to bed, girls, he's just had a bad dream."

"May I?" Paladin asked, holding out his arms towards the child; he wanted to try and quiet him.

"You can try while I put the girls to bed. I'll return as soon as I am finished." She gave him the lad as she got up from the bed, ushering her daughters back to their rooms.

Paladin held the child in his arms. _Surely I can calm a small boy from a bad dream!, _he thought. Paladin tried walking while carrying him, he tried cradling him while talking softly to him. But nothing seemed to help. Paladin was relieved when his wife returned a few moments later. Eglantine took the crying boy back from her husband. Paladin watched as Eglantine sat propped up against the pillows and cradled him, rocking and humming a lullaby. A few more minutes went by before Merry began to quiet down. Eglantine whispered to her gawking husband, "It's the female touch!"

Paladin watched the whimpering lad, "No, Tina," He smirked, "I think it's the touch of the thumb in his mouth!"

Eglantine took a bit of blanket and covered Merry, still cradled in her lap, and whispered, "He can stick whatever fingers he wants to into his mouth at this hour of the night!" He'd finally stopped crying, though his erratic breathing would keep him awake for another few minutes. 

Paladin handed her a handkerchief to clean Merry's face. "I wonder if he's had night terrors at home."

"They can't be like this one." She said. "He misses his mother, dear. I wish Essie had heeded your advice."

Paladin sat and waited with his wife, pondering what activity he would plan for him and his nephew tomorrow. Something that will get his mind off of missing his mother. He had an idea.

"I'll take him on a camp out tomorrow!" Paladin almost spoke aloud, receiving a stern look from Eglantine.

"What are you talking about?" She whispered.

"I'm thinking of ways to occupy him--to keep his mind off Essie."

Eglantine thought about it, "A camp out seems like a fine idea. I'll pack your provisions right after breakfast tomorrow." 

~~~~~

"Shhh!" Paladin instructed Merry with his finger to his mouth. They crept in the dimness of dusk towards the pond. Merry peered over the high grasses and watched wide-eyed as his uncle pounced on the quarry, unaware of its predicament. Paladin held onto his prize as he and Merry ran out of the shadow of the trees to the fading sunset. Both crouched down on their knees for a better look at their prey.

Merry startled at the large green face and black eyes, his own were wide in typical child-like wonder. He looked at his uncle, "Can I touch it?"

Paladin smiled, marveling at his own renewed wonder. "Do you want to hold it?"

Merry was in awe, of the frog....and his uncle. "I can hold it?"

"Sure! Just don't squeeze him." Paladin handed it over to Merry to examine closer.

"It's cold!" Merry held his breath as he brought it closer to his own face. "Can I keep it?"

"No, Merry, we can't keep him."

"Why not?" Asked Merry, still looking over the creature.

"Because he has a job to do here in this pond, just as we have a job to do in the Shire." He watched as his nephew turned the frog about, continuing to look over the whole frog. "And what if it's a she and not a he? She may have babies to feed."

"My Mummy's gone away, too." Said Merry to the frog. "I shall put you back." Paladin gazed at the young boy striding towards the pond to release the captured prey.

After Merry ran back to Paladin, they returned to camp hand-in-hand towards their makeshift shelter; a blanket pinned to a low tree limb, reaching to the ground and pinned there with wooden pegs.

Merry jumped onto his bedroll and scooted under the covers. He could see a few stars twinkling between the branches. "Uncle Paldin?"

"Hmm?" Paladin was busy arranging his blankets.

"Where do the stars come from? Are new ones made every night?"

Paladin smiled; he was enjoying this little camping out as much as his little nephew. "No, Merry, they are the same stars each night, but they do change every so often, then come back at a later day."

"But where do they come from?"

"Well," Paladin laid down and snuggled against Merry, "my great-great-grandfather, Gerontius Took--also known as the Old Took--told _my _father that the stars were made by the Father of the Elves."

'The Elfs have a Dad?"

He looked into Merry's big blue eyes full of wonder. "Yes, but we can't see him from here", Paladin said then got up to throw more wood on the fire. 

"Oh." Merry was wide-eyed, taking in everything his uncle spoke. 

Paladin came back inside the shelter and then lay down again close to Merry, "Do you know what else?"

"What?"

"Do you see that bright star? The one that's towards the north?" Paladin pointed to where Merry could see it.

Merry only knew from Frodo that North was "up" and South was "down". He followed where Paladin pointed. "That one is bigger than all of them!" He said.

"Yes, and do you know why?" Merry shook his head. "The Father of the Elves made it brighter than all the rest; it is the one star that guides everyone who is lost. All you have to remember is that is sits in the north."

Merry stared at the most brilliant star in the darkening sky. "You mean when I get lost, the bright star will take me home?"

"No," Paladin grinned, "What I mean is that when you are lost, the star will be your _guide _to help you _find _home, but it won't take you there. Just remember the star sits in the north."

Merry continued to gaze at it until weariness swept over him. The whole, long day he and Paladin went exploring, skimming rocks, or just traipsing along the little glen located no more than a mile from the back of Paladin's Smial. As his eyes closed, he felt his uncle kiss his head. Merry fell asleep safe and secure in the loving shelter of his uncle. 


	9. Under the Shadow of His Wings

****

Chapter Nine - Under the Shadow of His Wings

Paladin lay on his back in the shade of a tree gazing up at the clear blue sky. He watched as a few puffs of white clouds floated towards the horizon of tall grasses. He smiled to himself as he filled his lungs with the sweet fragrance of honeysuckle that played upon the breeze. With all the responsibilities of being an adult--being a husband and father for the past fifteen or so years--he'd completely forgotten what it was like to be a young boy. It was his little nephew, Merry, who had been reminding him the past several days. After their camp out, Merry asked the following evening if they could go out and catch fire flies, then yesterday they went out climbing trees; well, Merry did most of the climbing, but he was assisted by his uncle. Today, they decided to go fishing. Merry had never been fishing before; Paladin would go quite often with his own dad when he was young. Never really caught much then--or now, but it was the joy of being with his dad that Paladin remembered the most. Would Merry remember this day years from now?

He opened one eye and lifted his head to check on his nephew. He could see Merry lying on his back not too far from him, hands under his head and one leg crossed over the other just like his uncle. Paladin smiled. "I think we ought to check our lines." He said, sitting up.

Merry jumped up and ran to where his line was tied to one of the lower branches of one of the trees growing on the stream bank. He shook his head in disappointment as he pulled the fishing line out of the water. "Nothing."

"Well, I guess that's to be expected when folks who are fishing take their ease in the soft grass for a while." Paladin crouched on the bank and pulled up his empty line. He looked at the sky again--this time for a reason. "It's getting late, Merry. Why don't we head back home?" He wound up his and Merry's fishing lines and put them in his pack.

Merry picked up a few choice rocks to skim across the water. "When I get back home, my dad will take me fishing, too!" He said, swinging his arm out, letting the rock glide over the water's surface.

Paladin swung his pack over his shoulder, then picked up a few rocks of his own. "He ought to." He replied, letting a rock fly. "What sort of things do you and your dad do?" Though Paladin already knew what the answer to that question was.

"My dad does lots of things with me!" Came Merry's answer.

Paladin stopped in his tracks and looked at his nephew, knowing full well that Saradoc had done very little with his son. Then Merry continued, "We visit trolls, and...and go far, far away with Dwarfs, and fight dragons! We've even seen a goblin!" Merry stopped talking when he saw his uncle's face. It looked sad to him. He dropped the rest of his rocks at his feet, looking at the ground.

Paladin stepped over to the small lad and lifted him into his arms and carried him as he started to walk home. Merry was quiet for a while, resting his head on his uncle's shoulder as he carried him. He did not feel anger or disappointment from his uncle. Just sadness. "I told a lie." He finally said.

"I know." His uncle replied softly.

"Are you going to punish me? Mummy makes me stand in the corner."

"No." I'd_ like to punish your father!, _he thought.

After a minute passed, Merry ventured a question. "Can I come fishing with you again?"

"You can come fishing with me any time you want, Merry."

"Uncle Paldin?" 

"Hmm?"

"Can I come back and visit you again?"

Paladin gave Merry hug as he carried him, "I'd like that."

"Me, too."


	10. A Message From Buckland

A/N: A couple "grammar checks" in chapters 7 and 8. I do comb through these with a fine-toothed comb, though it seems yesterday's comb had a few teeth missing....

Chapter Ten - A Message from Buckland

Young Pimpernel entered the Smial a bit winded and carrying a yellow basket with a linen cloth covering it. It had been gloomy and rainy outside all day. She ran out and back from the Messenger post so as not to get herself or the bundle of letters too wet. She took the linen cloth off and began sifting through the envelopes to see if any were addressed to her.

"You know mother is supposed to go through the envelopes first!"

Pimpernel turned around; it was her older sister, Pearl. "I wanted to see if any were for me. You just hate it when I meet the Messenger before you do."

"Give me the basket." Pearl replied, "If any letters are for you, and I doubt very much that there are, mother will give them to you." Pearl indeed disliked it when she missed the Messenger, but she wasn't going let her little sister be victorious in her guess. She exercised her Eldest "rights" and snatched the basket from Pimpernel and ran towards the study where their mother was, chased by her sister.

Eglantine laid down the book she was reading when she heard, then saw the two girls run into the room, giggling and yelling. "Ladies, ladies! You're going to wake up the your sister from her nap!" Then added with exasperation, "I'll be so happy when the rain lets up!"

"Here are the letters that just arrived." Pearl triumphantly handed the basket over to her mother.

"Momma! Pearl took the basket from me!"

Eglantine was perusing the envelopes, "Pimpernel, go find Merry and play with him. You have far too much liveliness in you than normal."

"I already asked him, but he said he doesn't want to play. He said he wants to sleep."

One particular envelope caught her eye. It was sent from Mistress Esmeralda Brandybuck, Brandy Hall, Buckland. "Pearl, please take your sister and go start afternoon tea."

Pearl understood her mother wanted to be alone. "Yes, mother. Come along Pimpernel." She guided her rambunctious sister back towards the kitchen.

Eglantine looked at the seal on the backside of the envelope. It was definitely Saradoc's seal, and it was addressed to Paladin. She would have to wait until her husband got back from the soggy fields to read the contents. With it raining all day so far, it wouldn't be long before he would be home. Work was work, whenever some folks could get it, but Paladin wouldn't let those he employed work all day; they'd all end up soaked and catching an illness.

She went up to the window and held up the envelope to the light, hoping to see and decipher the faint script inside. Nothing. She paced up and down the study, anxiously flapping the envelope against her other hand while in her thoughts. Did Essie accomplish what she set out to do? If not, what was written in the letter to say how her little nephew would fare back in Brandy Hall with his father? She sighed heavily, finally setting the envelope in the middle of Paladin's desk where he couldn't miss it, and walked out.

She decided to check on the two younger children before heading towards the kitchen to help her daughters with tea. She first went to Pervinca's room. So peaceful and restful the child looked in slumber. Eglantine smiled. _Not a care in the world_, she thought, _as ought to be, unlike some others_. She next went to Merry's room where Pimpernel said he was sleeping; it was unusual for a child his age to be napping so much and for so long.

"Merry?" Eglantine whispered, softly knocking as she opened the door. Lying on the bed, the boy turned to face her, rubbing his eyes. "Are you still tired, sweetie?"

Merry shook his head. "My tummy hurts."

Eglantine sat beside him on his bed. "I'm sorry, Merry! I didn't know your tummy was hurting you. Does it hurt a little, or a lot?"

Merry thought for a quick moment. "Only a little, but it hurts." He put his hands to his stomach.

"Well, let's see." Eglantine kindly took his hands aside and gently pressed into his stomach to see if it was something he'd eaten and wasn't processing very well. "Does that hurt?" Merry shook his head. Next, Eglantine reached over and felt his forehead. No fever. "I don't know what to tell you, love. Do you feel better when you're lying down?" She watched him nod and saw his eyes were welling up with tears, as if he were about to cry.

"Oh, sweetie," She swept him into her lap, "You're too little to have so much on your heart."

Nearly an hour later, Paladin came home and found his wife doing the same thing he found her doing when he returned from taking his sister to town some days ago. "Your doing a lot of that with him lately, aren't you?"

Eglantine shrugged as she rocked her young nephew in the rocking chair. "It's what we mothers do best." She kissed Merry's forehead, "Does your tummy still hurt, love?" He wearily shook his head, laying it back onto her shoulder, putting his thumb back into his mouth.

"There's a letter addressed to you I left on your desk--a _special _letter." She eyeballed Merry. 

Paladin nodded in understanding. "Why didn't you open it--if it was _important_?" Looking at their nephew.

"Because it was addressed only to you, dear, and don't think for a moment that I wasn't tempted!", Eglantine smiled.

Paladin grinned at the thought of his wife's curiosity being bested by a sealed envelope. "I only hope it's good news. I will bring it back here so we can read it together." 

He left for his study and came back a few moments later with the envelope. He broke open the seal, took out the letter and then sat at an angle where both he and his wife could read it. It read:

__

"Dearest Brother,

Cousin Frodo has been visiting Bilbo Baggins in Hobbiton again and has offered to bring Merry back with him and Bilbo tomorrow, the 3rd of September. I could not resist the offer as I am still working on Sara. He is proving to be more difficult than I first thought, but at least he has stopped tipping the bottle as he has been. I can say in this at least, that Merry's father is in a more presentable form, and because of this, you can tell Merry that we haven't shouted at each other all week.

Thank you, Paladin and Eglantine, for opening your home and your hearts to my son. I love you both.

All my love,

Essie" 


	11. Provisional Departures

****

Chapter Eleven - Provisional Departures

"Frodo lad, I need to ask you a few questions."

Paladin sat across from Frodo on the couch in his study. Frodo looked wide-eyed at his elder cousin, thinking he was in yet more trouble. "Did Merry sing too many songs?"

Paladin hesitated at Frodo's question for barely a second. He shrugged and said, "My wife seems to think so, but that's not what I'm speaking to you about."

"I'm sorry, Paladin," Frodo replied nervously. "but those were the only songs I knew--an older Brandybuck cousin taught them to me, and--"

"Frodo," Paladin tried further to convince the lad, "that's not why I've asked you here!" Frodo calmed down a bit. Paladin continued when he had Frodo's undivided attention. "I understand that you and Merry are quite close at home, am I correct?" 

"Yes." The teenager nodded. "He's like a little brother to me."

Paladin smiled inwardly, while trying to find the appropriate words, "Has Merry spoken to you at all recently?"

"About?"

"About his father, Saradoc." Then he leaned a little over the low tea table between them, "What I'd like to know, is what Saradoc said to him the night before he and his mother arrived here."

Frodo licked his lips nervously. "I...he--he didn't say much to me."

"Frodo," Paladin spoke firmly, "Merry is my sister's child, and I am utterly concerned with his welfare at home. If you love Merry as you say you do, then help me."

"He made me promise not to tell anyone."

Paladin gazed at his young cousin. "A five-year-old made you promise not to tell?"

Frodo looked down at his feet. "Yes." Then he looked up at Paladin, "He trusts me, and I won't break that trust. I will keep his secret until my last breath, until he bids me to tell you, _because _I love him. However, I will tell you this: what Saradoc said in his son's hearing wasn't good at all, bottle or not. He and I have had words over Merry, and I tell you now that I will never look at Saradoc the same way ever again."

Paladin looked into Frodo's blue Brandybuck eyes and admired the resolve of the young hobbit in keeping Merry's trust. "Very well, then. Just do me one favor, eh?"

"What's that?" The teen asked.

"Please keep my nephew's best interest in mind. Keep and eye out for him, and if things become unbearable at home for him, send me an immediate message." Just as Paladin finished, both hobbits turned at the sound of little feet.

"Frodo! You're here! You're really here!" Merry ran heedlessly into the study, bounding into his favorite cousin's arms, hugging him fiercely.

"Yes! I am here to take you back to Brandy Hall with me!"

Merry whispered into his cousin's ear, "Frodo, Auntie doesn't like our songs here, just like Mummy. Pimpernel likes them, though." He didn't see Paladin's eye go wide in shock.

"That's all right, Merry!" He eyed his elder cousin, whispering back in Merry's ear, "We can sing them on the way home!"

Paladin smiled and shook his head. "Are all your things packed and ready, Merry?"

"Yes, sir. And I got my spinning top, too."

"Good! We wouldn't want Berilac to think he's the only child to have such a wonderful toy!" Paladin winked.

After everyone had eaten a nice lunch, all gathered outside to send off the trio of travelers. Eglantine handed a sack to Bilbo, "Here is a little something to keep you three on your feet until you get to Stock."

Bilbo gratefully took the sack, "Thank you, Eglantine, and I assure you none will be wasted!" They hugged and Bilbo stepped up into the front seat of the cart he drove.

Frodo shook the hands of his cousins, still being the bashful teen. Then he came to Paladin. "Goodbye, Paladin. I will do as you asked."

Finally it was Merry's turn. Following his cousin's lead, he shook the girls' hands. Then his Auntie swept him up into her arms, kissing him, "Goodbye, sweetie! We're all going to miss you here!"

Merry kissed his aunt, "Thank you, Auntie. I will miss you, too."

Paladin took Merry from his wife's arms and tossed him in the air before catching him. "Oy, laddie! You're already growing some!" That made Merry smile. "Now you make sure you come back to visit more often! I don't want it to be another three years before I see you again. Tell your Mummy that!"

Merry smiled, "I will." Then he laid his head on Paladin's shoulder and whispered, "I love you. You're my favorite Uncle." 

Paladin kissed Merry and whispered back, "And you're my favorite nephew." And Paladin truly meant it. "Run along now, and be a good lad!" While his family stood and waved goodbye to the departing relatives, Paladin quietly slipped away inside the Smial. He sat in his study listening to laughter and tears of farewell. His own tears falling silently as he thought of the little boy heading back to the lion's den.

"Paladin?"

He jumped up, startled at the sound. But it was his wife. "Oh, Tina, it's you." He wiped his face.

She walked over and put her arms around his waist. "I worry for him, too." She said. "I have a feeling he's going to be back. And that wouldn't be a bad thing at all if it were only for a visit of leisure."

Paladin took in a deep breath, "I only hope that Essie was right. But all I can do is be here for Merry when his heart breaks again."

"We both will be here for him." Said Eglantine.

Paladin smiled and embraced the love of his life, "Did I ever tell you I married the most beautiful and wonderful lass in the Shire?"....

~The End~  



End file.
